Bilang

“Say”

Take all of your wasted honor

Every little past frustration

Take all of your so-called problems,

Better put ’em in quotationsSay what you need to say [x8]

Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing You’d be better off instead,
If you could only . . .

Say what you need to say [x8] 

Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over

You’d better know that in the end

Its better to say too much

Then never say what you need to say againEven if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open

Say what you need to say [x24]

Tadi pagi, tetiba pengen banget denger lagu ini, entah kenapa… Lagu dari John Mayer tahun 2006 kalo gak salah. Memaknai lagu ini, jadi keinget kejadian sekitar tahun 2002 bulan Oktober, tanggalnya entah deh (shoot I am getting old, start to forgetting things already).

Well at that time, I had my first love confession… through an SMS… yes an SMS (kok jadi English begini?).

Waktu itu setelah berpikir mengenai perasaan yang terpendam sejak tahun 2001, akhirnya saya memutuskan untuk mengatakannya pada yang bersangkutan. Ya saya tau itu via SMS, so… what?

In my defence, currently at that time I’m in Bandung and she’s in Jakarta. Dan untuk menyiram pertamax pada api, saat itu dia sedang in a relationship with her long time boyfriend. SMS nya berbunyi:

“…………………………………………………………………………………………………….. (saya lupa bagian besarnya, intinya cuma mau bilang kalo saya sayang sama dia dan cuma mau bilang itu aja gak ngarepin apa-apa)”

And then it lifted up, that heavy burden that I had since July 2001. I already said what I need to say to her. At 2006 I heard this song and I felt alright with my decision, not that I need reassurance, it just felt right at that time. (The continuation of this story had been public knowledge spread out in many of my previous posts)

Fast forward to 2010, February 14th. Met my future wife, told her that I love her discreetly. In a relationship 4 months later and marrying her 2 years after meeting her. And a year after that my soul-mate was born. Her name is Talia Sabriyya Ihsan, my own flesh and blood. I could never been so happier than that day when she arrived.

Taking it all into perspective, I am really glad that I had the 1st time love confession 10 years ago. I knew if I hadn’t do that no matter what the outcome, I would be not happy as I am today, just because I hadn’t say what I need to say.

(walah jadi English kabeh), pada intinya, bilang yang perlu Anda bilang sebelum jadi suatu hal yang disesalkan di masa yang akan datang. I did what I had to do and know I am fully happy without any regrets.

Have a nice day and don’t forget to

“Say what you need to say”